silvergods: (Reid&Hotchner)
[personal profile] silvergods
Ate a cookie, feel bad about it.

Visited my Grandmother, unwillingly, ate dinner, feel bad about it.

Realized that if I keep up on the path I am at, I will be my grandmother - afraid to leave the house.

Came home to frost cookies with mom, the cookies I feel bad about eating one of.

Wrote a final project in two hours. Reread it a few minutes ago and realized I wrote "When/If I become a teacher". Well. That sounds promising.

Refrained from crying in front of my boyfriend when I told him how disappointing it is when I hear about people who have degrees and a will to do something other than the retail jobs they're in, but they can't. Told him I was afraid that would happen to me, and then abruptly ended the conversation because I couldn't handle it.

Terrified I will graduate with a degree in teaching.
Never get a job.
Suffocate in loans.
They'll repossess my car.
Come after my mother for my loans.

I'm worried.
So the highlight of my day - worry.

Worry, and regret.
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silvergods

October 2013

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